This book is absolutely magnificent. From the minute I picked it up, I could not put it down. I kept thinking to myself how great this book would be as a supplement to a gender studies course (interestingly, this book was recommended to me by amazon because of a text I purchased for a gender studies course). I want to share this book with all my friends - women and men - because I feel like there is so much to be learned here. What Ms. Vincent did is something like all writers should strive for. She became her character. And she did it with amazing success and enlightenment. Through her eyes, we can see the roles placed on us by society from the minute we are born and labeled - "girl" or "boy." Someone once asked if it was possible to raise a child without labeling them and letting them grow up and choose their own gender. My answer was no because it is not just mom and dad who impose gender roles on children. It is other family members, friends, and even strangers. In order to block all of that gender defining from entering our young child's conscious, we would have to lock everyone out. People, by default, assumed I wanted everything pink and frilly when I announced the birth of my daughter. And when I wrote "no pink" on the birth registry (and my daughter's name - Elliot - was written on the registry), the woman at the store said "aww you're having a boy?!" No, a girl. And I don't like pink. But I still got tons of pink. Then your child starts a daycare or preschool and learns from other children that certain toys are for girls or boys. My daughter wanted pirates for her birthday party theme and I was thrilled. Then the other kids told her pirates are for boys and it seemed to be true because all the boys that year seemed to be doing pirate themes. We discussed it and I convinced her to stick with what she wanted and not change it just because of what others say or think so she did a pirate theme after all and she was so pleased with it. Another time, she asked me why I painted my room blue and why is blue my favourite colour when clearly blue is a boys colour and pink is for girls. This started a serious discussion, which nearly left me in tears. My five year old suddenly wanted pink frilly dresses and dolls. And I thought I was doing everything right. But after all, I realize that she will be who she wants to be no matter what. Today, at age 7,she likes all sorts of different things and I let her choose whatever she likes whether it's ponies and dolls or building blocks and pirates. It's' okay for her to have all sorts of toys no matter what society says about what's for boys or girls. Just like an in internet meme I recently saw, a good test to see if a toy is for girls or boys is to ask this question: Is this toy in any way used with or activated by the genitals? If Yes, this not a toy for children. If no, the toy is for boys and girls! Wow! An easy solution. And I agree completely with it. There are no toys meant just for boys or girls. This is ridiculous. One day, we saw a gay couple on tv getting married and she said "mommy look, two boys getting married. That's silly." I immediately turned the tv off and we had a serious discussion about love and how gender does not have anything to do with it. At the end, she agreed it wasn't "silly" at all. But I digress. This beautifully written book has opened my eyes even further to the problem of gender labeling and roles. This is a problem not often spoken about and we need to speak out more. We need more people like Norah Vincent who have the courage and, dare I say it, the balls, to go out in the trenches and gather intel. By doing what she did, she learned not only about the difficulties of being a man but also more about the whys of certain gender-specific behavior.
I have always wondered and dreamed about being able to spend a day as a man. To see what it felt like. To experience life from the point of view of a man. The successes and the disappointments. The respect and the disrespect. Men and women seem so different but I think that underneath we are all just humans. (Edit: I do believe every person is different and that gender does play a role in this. No two people are the same!) Whatever gender related identities we might embody, it is in no small way a result of rules placed on us by society, imposed on us from birth (and even before birth), and embedded in us throughout our lifetime. Thanks to Norah Vincent, I had a chance to spend a day looking through the eyes of a man with the perspective of a woman. It was a magical and thrilling ride. One I am happy to have been invited to take. I recommend this book highly to any and every person who has the slightest bit of interst in the topic of gender roles and I think everyone should because not one of us is left untouched by this social construct. Like I said above, if you only read one book this year, make it this one. If I could give more than 5 stars, I would. Thank you so much, Ms. Vincent for your incredible strength and wisdom. Not many people could do what you did with such style and insight. You are an incredible woman - nay - an incredible human being. You're the type of person I would love to meet on a blind date. ;) <3
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Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on May 27, 2014
- Reviewed in the United States on June 1, 2024
Top reviews from other countries
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Cliente de AmazonReviewed in Mexico on July 15, 2020
Si te interesa empatizar con el otro género o cualquiera de sus siglas, lee esto
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- Sven UtckeReviewed in Germany on February 9, 2025
A very different look on what it means to be male
